Too Much Water
by Shinri Ayase
Summary: Koshino and Sendo go to an island vacation...with sharks and a pair of electric blue swimming trunks...
1. The Saga Begins

Sakuragi: Nyahahahaha! Nobody owns the tensai! *gets hit by lightning* Itai...except for Inoue Takehiko. *gets whipped* Ow! And the Kitsune!  
Rukawa: Damn right you are.  
Shinri: I own nothing except this plot - which was probably used by some other fictionist already. At least I have Rico. Oh, well.  
  
Too Much Water  
by Shinri Ayase  
  
Part 1: The Saga Begins  
  
Koshino  
  
Let's see now...  
Swimsuit?  
Check.  
Sunblock?  
Check.  
Money?  
Double check.  
Tickets?  
Ooops, almost forgot them. Ah, here they are.  
Check.  
Stick to threaten Akira with?  
Triple check.  
Well, that's about it. I'm as ready as I'll ever be for this damned vacation.  
Except for the fact that Himeki-oneesan picked electric blue trunks for me. Gahd, and Akira's gonna see me in those. He'll probably coo over it like the idiot that he is. What the hell did I ever see in him?  
Oh, well. At least oneesan didn't pick out the fuschia thong she's been ogling.  
Fuck.  
I wish I didn't win these damned island vacation tickets at the grocery.  
Two tickets. Just two damned tickets. And I just had to decide to take a friend so there would be no fiascoes at home. Mom and Dad would have probably fought over the right to be with their first-born son (I don't wanna be a reason for them to fight - though they hardly even need one, they just do it for the turn-on), the twins (they're both seven - I'll end up as a baby-sitter) need equal treatment so one wouldn't feel more loved than the other, and my oneesan would have insisted on bringing her boyfriend, girlfriend and "pets", making this vacation an overall unwholesome one.  
Don't ask about my oneesan, just...don't ask.  
So I decided to take Akira, since he's my best friend and the most obvious choice. I forgot one important thing, though - he's ecchi. He'll probably jump the particularly good-looking natives. I guess I'll just have to figure out how to stop him.  
Looks like I got everything. Here goes.  
"Yes, Akira! I'm coming already! Geez! Stop honking"  
  
Sendo  
  
I love blowing my car's horn.  
Did Hiro-chan just say he was coming? Mou, I didn't think he had to masturbate before a trip...  
"Hiro-chaaaaaaan! You better clean yourself up before you come down here!"  
  
Koshino  
  
What the fuck is he talking about?  
  
*****Landing*****  
  
Koshino  
  
So far, I stopped him from flirting (take note that his definition of flirting is distinct from our standard definition of flirting) with six flight attendants, two passengers, and the frigging pilot. I don't know how Akira got into the cockpit, all I know is I turn my back for five minutes (I needed the bathroom) and he was there.  
Things certainly haven't changed since our High School years. It's hard to believe that this guy is 23 and runs a succesful business (granted, he's in the KINKS business, but still...)...  
"What do you mean you lost our baggage?!"  
  
Courier  
  
This guy's scary. "Um, the blue and white ones with the Eagle right?"  
  
Koshino  
  
Why, oh why must I be surrounded by idiots? "No! The blue and white ones with 'Adadis' written on them!"  
  
Courier  
  
Oh, here they are! "Here they are sir."  
  
Koshino  
  
It's official, this vacation sucks.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Look, Hiki-chan! It's the sea!"  
  
Koshino  
  
"Of course, it's the sea! And don't call me that!"   
TBC 


	2. The Naming of Islands aka Several Shades...

Hiyee! Next Chap! Happy New Year, minna!  
  
Disclaimer: I claim nothing of this fic, except for maybe the random clothing they may be taking off...(well they wouldn't want to keep their dirty laundry, would they? whereas I _would_)  
  
Too Much Water  
by Shinri Ayase  
  
Part 2: The Naming of Islands (a.k.a. Several Shades of Green)  
  
Koshino  
  
I. Hate. Boats. I've almost forgotten how I hate boat rides.  
Well...Akira looks like he's enjoying himself...  
  
Sendo  
  
"Hey! That island looks like a crocodile!"  
  
Boatman  
  
"Ah, that is why it is called Crocodile Island, Mr. Sendo."  
  
Sendo  
  
"That one looks like a pile of poop! Do you guys call it Poopy Island?"  
  
Koshino  
  
"That's enough, Akira. I'm sure they don't call it Poopy Island."  
Somebody kill me now. Please. I'm seasick and my best friend is humiliating me...  
  
Boatman  
  
"Indeed, we do not. We call it Floating Human Excrement Island, sir."  
  
Sendo  
  
"Cool!"  
I like this place. Why does Kosh look like he's about to hurl?  
  
Koshino  
  
Very imaginative, these, people...  
OooOooohHh...maybe I shouldn't have had those oysters after all...  
  
Sendo  
  
"Kosh, you feeling okay?"  
  
Koshino  
  
Duh. I feel like a million bucks, Sendo. Thank you for asking.  
"Blaaaaaargh!"  
  
Sendo  
  
"Kosh! You're barfing!"  
  
Boatman  
  
No shit. This will come out of my salary.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Boy, it sure does smell bad. Hey! That piece looks like an oyster."  
  
Koshino  
  
I'm serious. Somebody kill me now.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Kosh, you'd better take deep breaths. Think of something else!"  
  
Koshino  
  
"Ugh, like what?"  
  
Sendo  
  
"Like the sea! Out at it! Isn't it beautiful? So many shades of green! It depends on how deep it is. See? When we're around just ten feet it's aquamarine...  
  
Koshino  
  
"Well, I have to admit, it's kind of pretty..."  
  
Sendo  
  
"And then it become almost black when you get to a point where you don't see the bottom anymore..."  
  
Koshino  
  
I wonder if he's realized that deep water makes me nervous.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Oh, look! I think a shark is following us!"  
  
Boatman  
  
"Oh, shit! I thought we killed that last week!"  
  
Koshino  
  
"What?! What do you mean by that?"  
  
Boatman  
  
"It escaped from a lab experiment. It developed a taste for human flesh...ate five of the guests, it did. Hold on to your hats, sirs!"  
  
Koshino  
  
I'm beginning to think this vacation isn't a good idea.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Yeeeeeeeeehaaaaa!"  
  
Koshino  
  
"Blaaaaaargh!"  
  
Boatman  
  
"I can't shake it. We have to drop something to distract it."  
  
Koshino  
  
Me. Please. Throw _me_ in.  
  
Boatman  
  
"One of you know how to work a boat?"  
  
Sendo  
  
"I do! I fish all the time!" This is the most fun vacation, ever!  
  
Boatman  
  
Oh well. This beats having to clean up the puke. "Work it, then. I'm going overboard! Get out of here as fast as you can."  
  
Sendo  
  
Wow! I wanna do that too!  
  
Koshino  
  
"You can't jump into..."  
  
Boatman  
  
*jump*  
  
Sendo  
  
"Kosh! I wanna jump in too!"  
  
Koshino  
  
"Aaaaaargh! He ate the boatman in one gulp! Work the damned boat, Akira!"  
  
Sendo  
  
"But Kooooosh!"  
  
Koshino  
  
"Work it, damn you!"  
  
*****  
  
Koshino  
  
At least we're here. That was the most stressful trip I've ever been to.  
We're lucky the resort isn't taking it against us that the boatman is dead. They said he was, and I quote, "one of the bravest among us. He will be missed, but not really. We all owe him money." End quote.  
Anyhoo, they managed to catch the damned shark again. He's going to be our lunch, as compensation for our trouble. We're getting it free, too.  
I don't know whether or not I should be disturbed.  
  
Sendo  
  
Yay! Sharkmeat for lunch! This is the coolest vacation ever! Hey...isn't that Captain Uozumi?  
"Uozomi-san!"  
  
Uozomi  
  
Dear god, no. I thought I left him behind after High School.  
"Sendo - Koshino! You guys still together, I see."  
  
Sendo  
  
"Yep! Practically married, except we don't live together and have sex."  
  
Koshino  
  
I repeat. Kill me now.  
  
Uozomi  
  
"Uh-huh." I can't believe I'm asking him this. "Oh? Who do you sleep with, then?"  
  
Sendo  
  
"Everyone! Except for Kosh, his family and my family."  
  
Uozomi  
  
"You slept with Taoka-san?"  
  
Sendo  
  
"Once. In a threesome with Fukuda."  
  
Uozomi  
  
I am definitely gonna be sick. "Look, I need to cook a shark..."  
  
Sendo  
  
"Hai! We'll be waiting for it!"  
  
Koshino  
  
I told Akira to keep that bloody threesome a secret. But noooo! He had to brag about that little escapade.  
I remember not talking to him for a week after that incident...  
Feh. Better not dwell on the damned past.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Kosh! Let's go swimming!"  
  
Koshino  
  
Uh-oh. The trunks.  
I almost forgot about the damned trunks...  
  
Tsuzuku... 


	3. I Should Have Brought A Bigger Stick

Gomeeeeeeeen, for the late update. Arigatou for the reviews!  
  
Aki-san: LOGIIIIIC! I lack LOOOOOOGIIIIC! Which is why I failed it. Bah. Why can't I be a tensai like you?  
  
ducky ducky: Sorry, I really meant to update this sooner, demo...  
  
dee: Yes, a threesome with Taoka. You're not the only one who got sick. I did, too.  
  
Hanabi Reeza: Very few others got the "coming" thing. :P   
DISCLAIMERS: I own only Koshino Hiroaki's swimming trunks and Rico. For now. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Mwa-Mwa-Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!  
Too Much Water  
by Shinri Ayase  
  
Part 3: I Should Have Brought A Bigger Stick  
Sendo  
  
Not that I'm complaining or anything. But Kosh is really becoming a pain in my cute, sexy, behind. Sure, he's my best friend, and he's always been like this, but...can't he at _least_ pretend to be having fun?  
Right now, I'm sitting here on the beach, waiting for him to come out of our cottage wearing his swimsuit. He looked kinda sick when I suggested that we go for a swim.   
Kosh, you really are a prude. You may be a twenty-something young man, but you act like a sixty-something woman born sometime during the Dark Ages.  
Which was, come to think of it, rare. Women during the Dark Ages didn't live past thirty, did they?  
Oooooooh! Is that Sakuragi? Half-naked? With the sun stroking the contours of his yummy abdomen...?  
Lunchtime!  
"Sakuragi-san!"  
Sakuragi  
  
Who's calling the tensai?  
Oh. It's Smiley. From High School Basketball. Should I really say hello? Oh, well.  
"Smiley. It's you."  
Sendo  
  
"Hiya! Wassup? Never thought I'd see you here."  
Sakuragi  
  
"Yohei dragged me here. Something about his new business. And the Fish Industry." Hmph! The Tensai shouldn't be dragged around like this.  
"Hey. Is that Frowny?"  
Koshino  
  
This. Is so. Embarrasing.  
Sendo  
  
"Kosh! You're wearing electric blue trunks!" Cute ones, too. They actually look kinda nice on him.  
"Sugoi! Can I borrow them?"  
Koshino  
  
"Baka! I can't lend you these!"  
Sendo  
  
"Why?"  
Koshino  
  
"Because they won't fit you!"  
Sendo  
  
"Why?"  
Koshino  
  
"Because they're my size!"  
Sendo  
  
"Why?"  
Koshino  
  
"Why?! What do you mean, why?"  
Sendo  
  
"Why are they your size?"  
Sakuragi  
  
Aaaaa, forget this. I'll just look for Yohei. That baka Smiley's gonna get himself killed. Hah! Like the Tensai wants to see his guts spilling out on the sand...Hey! An ice cream cart!  
Sendo  
  
Kosh's so cute when he's barking mad.  
Koshino  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaargh! Use your head, Akira! They're my size because they're mine!" My stick. I need my stick.  
Sendo  
  
"Oh. Can I borrow them anyway?"  
Koshino  
  
Why me? Kami-sama, why me?  
  
******  
  
Sendo  
  
Damn, Sakuragi got away. Oh, well. At least we had shark for lunch.  
Koshino  
  
Lunch wasn't so bad. Uozumi-san's a good cook.  
Sendo  
  
I wonder if I should drag Kosh into the water again...  
Koshino  
  
Sendo's got that glint in his eye. Dear lord, he's planning something.  
"You are not going to get me into the water AGAIN, Sendo Akira."  
Sendo  
  
Damn, he read me. Does he really have to glare so adorably?  
WHOA. Where did THAT come from? Granted, Kosh is good-looking, but adorable?  
Like a man-eating shark.  
Oh my god. Who's that island native I see before me?  
The ass is just so damn fine...  
Koshino  
  
Hmmmm... Drool on chin, follow gaze... AHA! I knew it!  
He's out here for some booty.  
Dammit, Akira, when will your demonic hormones quit?  
Rico  
  
Two guys are looking at me. Rico check...  
GAY.  
This is Rico's lucky day, then. Hot gay men, ogling.  
Sendo  
  
He's walking this way. Damn, would you look at that ripple of muscle...  
Koshino  
  
Why's he walking this way?  
Rico  
  
Here goes..."Good morning, sirs. Would you like a free boat ride?"  
Sendo  
  
"You sure the boat is the only thing we can ride?"  
Rico  
  
Try to act shy, Rico. This one's really hot. "Well, _that_ comes with a little bit extra, Mr..."  
Sendo  
  
"Sendo. Sendo Akira."  
Koshino  
  
I think...I'm gonna be sick...  
Tsuzuku 


	4. The Sea Is A Dangerous Place

Disclaimer: These characters and all who created them belong to the Pantheistic Gods. O Taste and See the partly-nekkid bishonen.  
Too Much Water  
by Shinri Ayase  
  
Part 4: The Sea is a Very Dangerous Place  
Sendo  
"Mou! I'm hungry, OshKosh! Are we there yet?"  
Koshino  
  
OshKosh?! What kind of a nickname is that?! Where the hell did he get that, anyway? I starting to regret asking him to have this vacation with me.  
"Look, Akira. You've just eaten lunch, and the boat only left that island a few minutes ago."  
He gave me _that_ grin. You know, the one that says "It's not food I'm hungry for..."  
"Ugh, wipe that hentai grin off your face. You're scaring the boatman."  
Of course, I should have known what he meant when he said hungry. He's been ogling Rico (our boatman) since this morning. Rico's just been avoiding his gaze all this time...  
Wait a minute! Is that a freaking smile? Is Rico smiling at Akira's flirtations? Oh. My. God.  
I think I just stood up too quickly.  
  
Sendo  
  
I didn't know OshKosh wanted to be in the water that badly. He jumped off even _before_ Rico-kun stopped the boat (Rico, by the way, has _the_ cutest ass on the island - LUCKY!).  
"OshKosh! You're not supposed to jump in yet!" I call out.  
That's strange. I can't see him anymore...  
  
Rico  
  
My god, I am going to lose my job! A client is drowning! I am ruined! Ruined!  
"He is drowning, Mr. Sendo! I have to stop the engine and save him!"  
Now If I only knew how to swim in water this deep...  
  
Koshino  
  
Great. I'm going to die, and it's all their fault for flirting.  
Ugh. I think I got too much salt in my lungs. Now I remember why I hate going to the beach...  
  
Sendo  
  
"Um, Rico? Do you _know_ how to swim?"  
  
Rico  
  
Mr. Sendo has to ask that when I'm already drowning. Oh well, at least I will die young and good-looking...  
  
Sendo  
  
Damn. He may have a good ass but he can't swim to save his life.  
But damn, that ass is hot. Wouldn't I just love to...  
Is that a motorboat I hear?  
  
Rukawa  
  
Hn. Stupid do'ahou following me to this island to annoy me. Doesn't he know that I need my peace and quiet? I swear, if he doesn't shut up, I'll jump his bones and he'd better have his name written down because he wouldn't remember his name by the time I'm done with him.  
Of course, that will be considered as rape and he'll stop yelling at me. That won't be any fun.  
What was that bump?  
  
Sendo  
  
Rukawa. Just. Ran. Over. Rico. With. A. Motorboat.  
But he looks damn hot in those trunks. Mrowr!  
Wait...Oh my god, Koshino! I almost forgot!  
I jump in.  
  
Rukawa  
  
That hair...  
Damn. This day couldn't get any worse.  
  
Koshino  
  
Why the hell am I still concious? I should be passed out by now.  
What the - ? Something dragging me to the...  
  
Sakuragi  
  
"Yatta! Yohei, I think we caught a big one and...Hey! It's not a fish! It's frowny!"  
Ookusa starts to poke at him. Nyahahahahaha! It looks so funny!  
"I think he's still alive..." Takamiya says.  
  
Koshino  
  
I struggle out of the net. And punch the poker like the dummy that he is.  
"Of course I'm alive, now stop poking me!"  
The boat tipped a bit and I saw Akira smiling like an idiot and asking me if I was OK.  
It was all his fault.  
Kill.  
  
Sendo  
  
"Ne, OshKosh, why'd you push me off?"   
Tsuzuku 


End file.
